Monday, September 26, 2011

Why do I want to eat crap?

Not literal crap. No thank you. But soda, and candy. And too much food in general. Why do I crave that stuff?

Today I'm wearing a skirt I usually wear a lot, but I just happened to have left it in a bag of clothes that I haven't really looked through since I moved out of my apartment, so I haven't worn it since April. It's noticeably looser, which makes me really happy and gives me more motivation. And yet, even with this extra motivation, I just want to drink soda or a frappucino or something. The way I usually combat this dumb urge is to drink a giant amount of water, but today I rushed out of the house with all my stuff for the day and forgot my water bottle, which is dangerous.

It's even harder to fight the battle of overeating. To stop not when you are full, but when you're no longer hungry. Why do I feel the need to keep eating, like if I don't finish every last bite, I'll never get to eat again? I have a problem. I don't understand the compulsion to eat something if it's there, regardless of my level of hunger or even the tastiness of the food. For example, I'm not really a fan of pretzels, but if there's a bowl of pretzels sitting out at a party or someone's house, I will eat them, just because they're there. It's automatic. I don't even think about it! When I do think about it, I know that I don't want pretzels, and I don't eat them. I need to constantly be aware of the food around me and make a conscious decision not to eat it. But I don't want to think about it! I want to automatically NOT eat everything I see.

It's funny to me that this culture is so obsessed with skinniness, and yet, every restaurant has huge portions. So it turns into a show of self control, of which I have very little in the food department. I hate that this is an issue for me. And I hate being fat, so you'd think it would be easy for me to refrain from eating more than I need, but it's not. It is a battle I face daily, and some days are easier than others, but it's always there.


  1. One trick that someone told me in regards to eating out at restaurants is to immediately ask for a box and divide your food in half, placing half of it in the box from the get go. That way you're exercising self-restraint from the beginning and removing the temptation to overeat. Sometimes the portions are SO huge that even dividing into thirds is required to avoid overeating. But then think of it this way--2 or 3 meals for the price of one restaurant meal!

  2. Amanda, I've heard that too, and I've done it before, but restaurants aren't as big of a problem as eating at home, because I'm so poor I almost never eat out. And because I'm aware of that problem, I try to go for smaller meals, or get salad instead of fries, or share with someone.

  3. Trust me - you are not alone in feeling that way about food...I'm exactly the same way. Sometimes I literally stop and say to myself "slow down - you'll eat again in a few hours"! I will say though that cutting out sugar and refined carbs cuts down on that crazy impulse. Things that are so refined are addictive substances and not nutrition. It's like going through withdrawal and detox to cut that stuff out of your diet but getting your system clear of those substances goes a long way toward controlling non-hunger related eating. One of the main "restraints" that works for me is just thinking about how gross and sick I'll feel after eating something refined and its enough to stop me from eating it...but it's taken me a long time to get to that point. Also its super, super, super important to eat enough good, healhty fats. Cutting donw on good fats contributes to cravings. Anyway, it's awesome that you're seeing progress - that is probably the best motivator around :-)

    If you ever decide to move up to the Bay area we can be roomies and keep each other on the straight and narrow :-)