Thursday, January 17, 2013

I don't wanna go!

Losing weight is so complicated. One day I'm totally on top of things: my eating is healthful and I rock out at the gym. After a day like that, without fail, I think, "I've got this in the BAG!"

So it always takes me off guard when, as soon as the following day, I suddenly have a mammoth aversion to the gym. My list of excuses is ridiculously large and largely ridiculous. I don't want to go by myself. I don't want to get dressed. I only took a shower 3 hours ago and I don't want to sweat. The cute guys at the gym will see me sweating and think I'm gross. It's too cold. It's too hot. I feel like my knee will give out on me. I don't want to get my new shoes dirty. I don't know how to tie my shoe laces. I have a tongue.

I didn't say all of my excuses were true. I did warn you that they are ridiculous.

The one about my knee is actually something I have to be careful about. If I tweak my old knee injury, I could take myself out for a week or more. For the last several days, that actually is what kept me out of the gym. When I weighed more, my knee used to go out on me all the time, and then I would walk around with a limp. Not like a "I'm pretending to be a gangsta and you best be watchin' yo back, foo'!" limp, although there are definitely times when my inner faux ghetto makes an appearance, but an "I am embarrassingly young to be having issues already" kind of limp.

So after taking some necessary time to make sure my knee was okay, I knew I needed to get back and resume the kicking of my butt. And then the excuses started to flow. I was sitting on the couch watching tv after Bible study tonight and I was on the verge of avoiding a workout, but then I ate a quesadilla, so I had to go.

I always know that as soon as I get into my workout clothes, I'll be glad I gave in and overcame the dark side. Yep. I'm gonna blame my laziness on Darth Vader. Maybe if I see myself as a jedi, I'll buckle down and accept my training.

So why did I get into my workout clothes tonight and my face still looked like this?

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The effect on this one is called "bleak." I thought it fit the situation perfectly.

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Just kidding. I was just re-enacting my previous bad attitude.

I'm actually excited to wear my new shoes to the gym!
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And now that I'm here, I couldn't be happier, although I could LOOK happier.
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There really is no better feeling than that of being healthy. Kate Moss apparently once said that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. I used to be incredibly offended by that, but now I know what she means, and I agree. And I'm not even skinny yet!

Time to go work

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Tickets to the gun show

Are you intimidated by my guns?

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Yeah, I didn't think so. Mostly right now it's just embarrassing flab and not sleek showy biceps. Not that I want to be a body builder or anything, but I would like to have nicer arms. Toned arms. Arms that make grown men cry and women weep with bitter jealousy.

Not really.

What I really want is to not be embarrassed by my arm flab when I wear a wedding dress someday. Do you know how many pictures of me there will be? I don't want to hate them all. I want to be toned and look nice. Not that I'm planning this wedding, although I would like to. God has not yet brought me to the man He created me for. I am waiting, sort of patiently. Sometimes not so patiently. Although not so impatiently as to say yes to someone I would like to marry but I know is not God's plan for me. Sorry, I'm just kinda sad right now.

Being a Noah, I was born to be muscular. It's in our DNA. This brought me a lot of grief as a teen before I figured out that not everyone has the same build, and my body is not meant to fit in size 6 jeans. If I was nothing more than skin and bones, even THOSE would not fit into a size 6. I'm built like a softball player, and I'm totally fine with that now. But I'm also living with the repercussions of getting extremely fat, and now I have all sorts of flab that just ads to my already bulky frame. And I hate sleeves. If it were up to me, I would go sleeveless all the time. Hence the recent arm workouts.

I know it's not good to work out the same set of muscles every day, because they need time to heal, so I'm doing weight training with my arms every couple days. I'm hoping that at some point, I'll be able to see results, although right now my attempts just seem futile. But this time I'm gonna stick with it and not give up after a few workouts, like I have in the past. I'm going for lovely arms.

Aside from this new arm goal, I'm also getting back into being disciplined about losing weight in general. I did lose some last year before gaining some back during the Season of Temptation, but overall I am only ten pounds down from this time last year. Not good. I did maintain pretty well, but I'm feeling sluggish and gross, so it's time to kick my butt and drop some more weight. I still want to lose 70 pounds, and to help get me to that ultimate goal, I have joined not one, but TWO weight loss challenges/competitions.

The first is really just a challenge to lose 10% of my body weight in ten weeks, but there is a prize if I do so, and if my story is picked to be shared, I get an even bigger prize. I like prizes! I have to take a before and after picture for this challenge, so here is my before:

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The second is a competition with the same group against whom I competed last year. This one has a cash prize for first and second place, and the goal is to lose the highest percentage. My friend Sullia beat me last year by just a little, and this year I seek retribution. She is going down. There will be much trash talking in the coming months, but it's really just because we love each other and both do much better with a little healthy competition. But I'm gonna win. That is happening.

Actually, for those of you needing some competition to get you motivated, this one starts on Sunday, and I encourage you to join. It goes for 12 weeks, and there is a buy-in of $10, with the first place winner receiving 2/3 of the money and second place receiving 1/3. I met some really good friends in this group last year, and it was so helpful in keeping me on track. If you want in, let me know and I'll get you hooked up. But I will beat you. Just know that