Thursday, December 1, 2011

Let's talk about my butt

I hope this isn't awkward for anyone... I mean, everybody has one. My family may be a little too free on the subject, which means I grew up with constant and comments about someone else's butt being my face and vice versa, but it's just who we are, and I love us.

My butt has always been very flat. It has also consistently through my lifetime been hard as a rock, as my cousin Alex likes to tell strangers and guys that I think are cute, so that's nice and embarrassing, but it's also true. Even when I got fat, sure my hips got wider, but the flatness of my buttox was a constant.

Until recently.

I think the elliptical machine has magical butt-shaping powers, because lately I've been noticing a new lifted curvy aspect to mine. I've caught myself feeling my new and improved gluteus maximus more than once in public, and I wonder how many people have been a witness to that seemingly odd phenomenon. I don't really care though. I'm too excited about my new derier! <-- I totally don't know how to spell anything in French but you all know what I'm saying there. Don't be a French spelling snob.

On Monday I was on the phone with my best friend Kelli, who lives in Nebraska now, and knows the former shape of my tush all too well. So I told her about the changes, and she wanted to see a picture so she could tell me if I was correct, or if I was delusional. The thing is, I was on my way to school, so it's not like I could find a place with any privacy in which to take this picture. So I told her I'd try. During my first class break of the evening, I went to the bathroom and waited until it was all clear, dropped trou (the underwear stayed on), turned sideways and snapped a shot of the curves in the mirror. Then I re-clothed myself just in time for the door to open. I felt a little like I was walking on the wild side. Maybe that seems too tame to be the wild side, but for me it was. So I sent the wild heiny picture to Kelli for assessment. Sure enough, she also saw the changes! So I sent it to my sister. Then I showed it to my aunt when I got home, sent it to my cousin Meredith later on, my mom's cousin Amy early this morning, and showed it to Alex today! All of those people backed up my claim of a more shapely rear, and left me wondering if THAT many people being familiar with my butt is really a good thing.

I almost want to post the picture here, but I don't approve of inappropriate content on my blog. Besides, I don't want to make anyone jealous. Haha!


  1. "Bootie bootie bootie bootie rockin' everywhere!" That's the song I sing to Jackson while I'm changing his diaper. I will sing it to you now, too, since you now HAVE a bootie!

  2. Glad you didn't post the pic. :-) You know what is hilarious? I can totally feel the adrenaline pumping through your body all the way over here in IL.