Right now I'm wearing workout clothes because I went to the gym for the first time in months, and I wore the gym clothes all day because I knew I would be about 80 million times more likely to force myself to go if I was already dressed for it. So on one hand that was smart, but on the other hand, the shirt I'm wearing is a tube top with another shirt over it, and the top of the tube is tiiiiiiiiiiight. My armpit areas are in pain from the top of this shirt.
This is not good. And I have no idea how I let this happen. Why is it so easy to get out of good habits that make you feel amazing, and you practically have to move Heaven and Earth to reinstate those habits? It literally takes an act of God, at least for me. Because when I'm not relying on Him, I sink pretty low.
This is how my niece Lilly and I feel about my lack of self control:
I mean, I still look okay. I haven't gone back up to my epic proportions from the dark years. And apparently I like to take selfies with my right hand on my hip. But I am missing my smaller self, and I wasn't even close to my goal yet.
So I have some new goals. I want to lose 50 pounds in 100 days. That's about 15 pounds a month, which is totally doable at my size. I am going back to the gym and I have enlisted a friend to meet me there a couple times a week. I'm also gonna be doing Blogilates (a free online personal trainer who is really great and posts new videos all the time and comes up with a workout calendar each month) videos every day. I'm getting back to limiting my portions and not eating as many sugars and breads. I don't cut anything out completely, but I know what should be limited. I just need to listen to my body. Right now I feel full pretty much all the time, and it doesn't feel good.
I don't want my face to look like this anymore:
I miss when it looked like this:
And in 3 months, it will again. Adios to feeling gross!
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