Big Things!

For the last few months, my sister has been talking to me about her morning workout group. 

Amanda: "You should join me! You would love it! We could do it together and it would be so good!" 

Me: "What are the dizzity deets?" (To spice up my life recently, I either add a bunch of unnecessary syllables to words or don't use full words. This is the way. Also, I didn't actually say that, but it's consistent with the lingo I use with my sister. Recently I DID say this phrase to my husband: "Hey Babe, can you get the lasagns out of the freeze? Thanks.")

Amanda: "You buy the Beachbody streaming workout and then you get on Zoom with my group every morning at 7am! It would be so good for you and you would seriously love it!"

Me: "HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA"

This will probably not come as a shock to most people that I HATE MORNINGS. I LOVE working from home, because I literally set my alarm for 3 minutes before my first morning meeting, roll out of bed and stumble into my workday. I'm supes class like that. (AKA super classy. I'm just giving some more fun examples of my current strike on full words. Don't worry, I realize it's totes ridic. We all need a little fun in our lives right now.)

Also, I have a gym membership and I have home workouts and I've sort of been doing the dancy Figure 8 workout I bought a few months ago, and it's a disgusting swamp in my house all the time because it's monsoon season in AZ and we have a swamp cooler. I now realize to the full extent why they named it that. I half expect an alligator to crawl up from under the house at any moment.

So Amanda, or PERSISTENT AMANDA as we'll call her in this episode of "How I wore my sister down," would leave it alone for a few weeks and then bring it up again. I continued to laugh at her attempts because above all else, my hatred for the morning runs deep and prevails over most things. I'm not even kidding, when I woke up on my wedding day, I thought, "I mean, do I HAVE to get up? How important is this wedding thing?" Clearly the wedding thing won that day, as I now possess an adorable and quirky husband who can't wait to have kids. And neither can I, but we've had no success in the pregnancy department, and we're coming up on four years of marriage.

So we're seeing a reproductive specialist. Besides the obviousness of just having to lose weight to increase my chances of getting pregnant and carrying healthy babies (we're praying for twins, I only want to be pregnant once. I'm gettin' OLD!), I was FINALLY diagnosed with PCOS after telling my last few doctors that I strongly suspected that I have it and them pretty much brushing it aside. Long story short, PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) makes it difficult to get pregnant because it messes with my hormones and ovulation. The doctor is confident in helping me ovulate, and he also gave me some new diet tips that he thinks will help me lose weight (daily probiotic sauerkraut and lots of seafood among new supplements and other stuff) and I'm suddenly feeling the urge to also work out and get this thing going.

It has been incredibly difficult for me to lose weight for about the past 5 years, even when I've had consistent workout plans and nutrition in place. Tim and I did a 40 day sugar fast recently, and I did not lose a single pound. And I am a stickler for following the rules and not cheating. My body just isn't responding like it used to as I get older. Also with the pandemic closing everything down and shortening hours, even when they did open the gym back up the hours are limited and I can't go in the evenings when I've historically preferred to work out.

So with all of these factors in place, last weekend I'm talking to Persistent Amanda, and she brings up the workout group again. 

Persistent Amanda: "You really should do it. We're starting a new challenge on Monday and it's $100 for an entire year of Beachbody on Demand, so you get access to all the workout programs."

Me: "Ugghhhhh fine."

Persistent Amanda: "Ok, I'm gonna send you a link to sign up right now."

*Ding* (imaginary email noise immediately)

Me: "This is $160."

Persistent Amanda: "I know, but you get a bag of Shakeology, which is usually a lot more, and you get access to the nutrition program, and it's a really really good deal."

Me: "I really can't do more than $100 right now because it's the rent check week, and with the next paycheck I was gonna get (our kitten) Ham's balls chopped off, but then Tim reminded me that his car needs an alignment and mine needs a transmission flush and..."

*Ding* (Venmo app notification) Amanda Spaulding has sent you $60

Persistent Amanda: "Check your Venmo, Dude."

Me: "Well, I guess I'm signing up now."

So against a lot of odds, Monday morning I started the mbf (muscle burns fat) Beachbody program, and it's a lot like cross fit, and it's really good. I was not excited about starting it or the earlyness of the group Zoom workout, and from Tuesday to Thursday my quads were excruciatingly painful, but it's been most of a week now, and I am actually really loving this change! It gets me going in the morning, and it's really nice to just have it done and out of the way, and I'm starting to feel actual desire to work out again. I still dread the waking up part, and I think that will always be the case, but I can push past that and attack these workouts like the old Fitness K8! 

I know that so many of you need the same accountability that I need to consistently work out, and for that reason, yesterday I upgraded my account to become a Beachbody coach, and I'm asking you all to consider joining me! Come join my team and let me encourage you daily, because that has always been the best way for me to stay motivated! There are SO many different types of workouts to choose from, and you don't even have to do the same one I'm doing if you don't want to! But please join me! Let's take back 2020 from the nightmare it's trying to be. There are still four months left in this year, and we can achieve a lot in that time! The endorphins are necessary to get us through this thing!

The MBF program is 21 days, and these are my before photos. My starting weight was 279. Seriously, if I can do this, anyone can!

 

Ready, set, RESET!

Oh hey! Remember me? I sure remember a me that I want to get back to. Here's a quick recap:

I lost a bunch of weight and documented here for all to be motivated by. It held me accountable. I loved it. I got down to 215 pounds.

In 2013 I started working at a veterinarian office with pretty endless sweets on the weekends. At first I resisted, but it started to get me.

In 2014 I quit trying altogether in favor of grief eating. I gained a ton of weight back.

In 2016 my then-fiance and I were on a reality weight-loss show and I gained a bunch of muscle and lost a lot of fat before our wedding.

The first year of marriage was very stressful and I once again abandoned all progress to deal the way I know I shouldn't but I do anyway: stress-eating.

And I'm back to 271 pounds, and I feel gross and my body moves like an old woman, and I don't like how I look in anything, and I'm just uncomfortable all the time.

Tim has had so much self-control in the last month or so, and he lost 18 pounds in the weeks before we went to South Africa in the beginning of August. He gained 5 back while we were there, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had actually lost a few pounds! I've been having a hard time coming up with any motivation to really put in the effort to lose weight again, but something in seeing no weight gain on a trip I thought had certainly added more pounds gave me that little kick I needed!

Tim and I have been going to bed early (10pm), and this morning I woke up at 6. I *almost* got out of bed and went to the gym, but I decided to be lazy. I don't know why, other than just bad habits and self-sabotage, but I made up for it tonight when we were trying to come up with something to do before bed that wouldn't keep us up until midnight, because we're really trying to stay on this new schedule and start getting enough sleep.

Tim had suggested going to a movie earlier in the day, but I vetoed that idea when I realized we would go to bed after midnight for a movie I didn't even care about. T-Mobile Tuesday was giving us $2 apiece for Baskin Robbins, but I nixed that idea because last time we did that, Tim was mad at himself afterward for eating ice cream and sabotaging himself. So I suggested a walk.

We took 20 minutes to walk around our block, which is 1.09 miles if you include one cul-de-sac, which we did. We are committing to walking together 5 evenings a week, and I'm really looking forward to some consistency. My gym workouts have been few and far between lately.

I'm feeling motivated, but even if the motivation goes away, I am committing to this. To myself. To my husband and our future children. To my life.

After our walk tonight

Operation mountain goat

I've had my eye on this particular hiking trail for about six months now.  I keep saying I'm gonna go do the hike, and I've asked people multiple times to come with me, but it just hasn't happened yet.

Also, I'm super out of shape so I'm a little bit afraid of this hike, since I don't know what it holds.  Is it crazy terrain?  Is it super steep?  Does it lead to the den of a hungry mountain lion waiting to devour whatever out of shape fool wanders near?  I have no clue. 

I think what I want more than anything is to just be able to go climb up that mountain like it's not a big deal.  I don't want hills and hiking to get in the way of my life.  I want to be able to hike down into the hills of Embo in South Africa and take pictures of the people in their homes and in their poverty and not worry about spraining my ankles or breaking any bones or not being able to climb back out.

So the other day I was coming home from going on a walk with my friend Tracy, and I didn't feel like I had gotten enough of a workout.  I was passing the hiking trail and I decided that I was just gonna go for it.  I was already dressed for it, which is half the battle, and I was right there.  It was time.

I started out on the trail and was relieved to find out that it's broad and pretty level.  Not tons of loose rocks, although there was plenty of loose horse poo and pretty little bursts of flowers/weeds, none of which I wanted to step on.



 

The trail is easy enough, and not too steep, but being so out of shape, it was still difficult for me.

I decided to hike uphill for a mile, and then simultaneously regretted my decision (mostly because I had to go to the bathroom) and determined to see it through (and prayed that God would put a hold on my need for a toilet.)

This was about halfway into my uphill mile.

 I may look uncertain, but I was happy to be there, and the views were totally worth it.

 Here I am at exactly one mile up, with the sun and the hardest work behind me.

It's embarrassing that this easy of a hike is difficult for me.  When Tim and I have kids, I want to be able to go on hikes like this as a family.  I want to lead by example and not just "shoulds."  I want to establish habits of a healthy lifestyle from the get go, and that needs to start now.  Time to get serious about this climb.

The Color Run strikes again

Three times I have signed up for the Color Run.  Three times upon signing up for the Color Run, I have sworn that I would be able to run the whole thing.  Three times I have failed.  But I'm not giving up.

Last weekend, Rocio and I braved the early early early early morning and headed to Dodger Stadium, where we fogged (fake jogged... it's totally a real thing) our way through a 3.1 mile course dotted with five stations of colored cornstarch that transformed our white shirts into a mash-up of different hues.

And this time there were hills.

The first two color runs we did were completely flat courses, but not Dodger Stadium.  Straight out of the gate, we were headed uphill, and my already unimpressive endurance was cut down dramatically by the onslaught of a mountain tall enough to intimidate even the hikiest of hikers.  Okay, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration.  Or maybe even entirely false.  Okay, so really it's just a normal hill, not even as steep as my driveway (which is crazy steep, for the record.), but when I get winded walking up hills, you can bet that running sure isn't gonna happen.

And then, once we had gone downhill for a little bit, there were all these switchbacks, making us go back up.  So I just stuck to the fogging on the downhill segments and trudged my way up on the torture uphill portions.  It was a pretty good system.  It got me to the end at least.

Since there had to be hills, I was extra grateful for the clouds that made the sun less brutal.  Our first color run was miserably hot.  I would do hills with cloud cover over a straight course in mid-afternoon under an unrelenting sun any day!

Oh, and I've lost 5 pounds since my last blog post. HALLELUJAH!

I WILL fully run a 5K soon.

Climb every mountain! Or at least "A" Mountain

Life got busy.  I got sidetracked.  And sabotaged.  And my weight loss was basically demolished.

Well, maybe not demolished.  I'm still down 85 pounds from my heaviest weight, but I am 35 pounds up from where I was prior to losing it.  I've gotten back on track and then not stuck to it a few times, but this time I intend to blast through this ridiculous road block and finally lose the rest of the weight I want to lose.  I'm probably looking at another 80 pounds, and I'm ready for it to be gone.

On Sunday I drove to Tucson for a big photography job, doing school photos for a preschool.  When I was packing I made sure to include all of my workout clothes (including a bunch that I just got on sale at Target!  I love finding workout clothes on sale even more than I love finding normal stuff on sale because they're usually so ridiculously expensive!), with the intention of working out while I'm here and eating healthfully.

I don't love working out alone, and I suggested walking to my mom, but she can't do it with her bad knees.  So I thought I was gonna be completely on my own.  However, on Monday my friend Jane invited me to climb "A" Mountain with her.  It's a 1.8 mile hike to the top, and I've been wanting to start hiking anyway, so this was the perfect opportunity, with the added benefit of getting to hang out with one of my good friends that I don't get to see often enough.

At the top, with a great view overlooking Tucson

It's amazing how one kind of workout can become so easy as your body becomes accustomed to it, and then a new kind is really difficult.  The elliptical does nothing for me anymore, but climbing that hill felt a lot harder than I thought it should be and I was a little ashamed of myself.  But then at the top I thought about that time three years ago at Pierce College when I had to climb 185 stairs and I couldn't make it to the top without stopping to rest, and I realized that being able to climb 1.8 miles with only one stop to stretch my quads that were starting to freeze up is not a bad place to be after not being that active for the last year.

The last few days have been sore ones for my legs and butt, but it's a good sore.  I like the physical feeling and what it means for my body.  I love being active and I am going to make it a priority again.  I have to.  If it wasn't pouring rain, I would go for a run right now, even though I would have to go alone.  I might go anyway!  Wait, no.  I forgot that glasses in the rain is super obnoxious.  Maybe I should get contacts again. 

An old friend and possibly some new

Today was the first day of the fall semester, and I am back at Pierce. Yes, I received my AA in June, but I got a D in my math class, so I have to take another math to earn the credit at CSUN.

Let me just defend myself for a second here. I know that I am probably the only one who cares, but I don't just go around flippantly getting Ds in classes. I am a Dean's list student, and I have always been good at math. However, last semester was SO work intensive that none of my classes got enough of my attention, and math suffered the most. You see, I hadn't taken any math classes since I graduated high school, so it had been 13 years, and let's just say that there were a few things I forgot in that time. Formulas especially. Add to that the worst teacher I've ever had in my life, who is no doubt brilliant, but greatly lacking in teaching skills of any kind. He would simply do problems on the board. If I had time to go home and teach myself what he failed to teach, I would have been perfectly fine, but I didn't have the luxury of time. I sat with a group of 4 or 5 other students who were all good at math, and each of us was scared that we would fail the class. We would get to class, look at each other, and the moaning and grumbling would commence. It was comforting, though, to have some comrades to share in the misery. We thought this class would be the death of us.

Anyway, I feel a little better having explained myself, so now you understand why I have to be at Pierce this semester. I would like to take advantage of the financial aid that I was offered this year, so I am trying to fill my schedule this week with classes that will benefit me in different ways. Thursday night I am hoping to get into an English Literature class with the same teacher I had last semester, which will go toward my BA, and this morning I crashed a Photography class. I would like to learn how to use the manual settings on my camera and how to work with light so that I can take amazing pictures when I work with orphans someday, and those will be part of my books. If I get those classes, I still need three units to be full time.

Enter Physical Education. Everything is full, so I will be crashing and trying to add Yoga, Swimming and Soccer. If I get all the classes I want, I will be at school Monday through Saturday, and every day from Tuesday through Friday will begin with a workout of some sort. And don't forget those stairs!! This morning I was so happy to be back to my original workout, and smiled all the way to the top as I felt that familiar burn in my butt.

What a difference a year makes! It was the same week last year that I climbed those stairs for the first time and literally thought I was going to die. I was sweating and panting and gasping for air. I had to stop and drink a bunch of water halfway up, and I sat there for ten minutes before I got up again to continue that trek to the top. I was so embarrassed by my lack of breathing ability, and by my obvious out-of-shapeness. Today, my heart rate was high when I got to the top, but I wasn't panting or wanting to die. If I can make the same amount of difference in this coming semester as I did this time last year, I will be elated! So I am praying that I can add those classes and amp up my workout. I have been wanting to swim, but I don't have access to a pool in which to do laps. I have been wanting to try yoga, and even have a pink yoga mat, but I haven't been able to drag myself to one of the classes at the gym because I don't like trying new things alone. Soccer is the biggest one for me though, in that I used to play and I loved it. I quit shortly after moving to Tucson because it was too hot, but I have regretted that choice ever since, and I have been dying to get back on the field! I think I am finally in good enough shape to at least try to get started again, and this would be the perfect way to do it!

After climbing the stairs today I hung out in my car for a while, checking on information and figuring out my week. I reclined my chair and put my feet up, while a nice cool breeze flowed through my open windows. I noticed that my legs look thin now. My family is very muscular so my legs will be never be THIN thin, but for me, they are thin. I am happy with my muscular build, and I wish I knew in high school what I know now about different body types. It would have allowed me to feel much better about myself.



If you pray, please pray along with me that I am able to get into these classes that I want. What a cool and exercisey semester it will be with my thin legs!! Thanks, friends!

Back to attack the fat!!

I've been feeling like such a bum lately, but I just haven't been able to drag myself back to the gym for some reason. I haven't been motivated. I was justified in not spending as much time exercising while school was going on, because last semester truly was insane, but it has been two months since school ended and in that time, I have just been lazy. No excuses. Once you stop a good routine, it IS hard to get started again. Why is it that the bad habits are the easy ones to keep? Someone's gotta do something about that. God???

I still found little tidbits of awesomeness over which to rejoice during my gym hiatus, and those at least made me want to get back to Fitness Kate status. Here is a small list of victory tidbits:

*last week I went to Tucson for my amazing dad's 70th birthday! While I do bring my pillow with me when traveling, I do not include my own personal (and much larger than normal) towel in my luggage. My mom's towels are the standard towel size, and I could never get them to close all the way around me before. This time was different! I did a celebratory post-shower-heck-yes-I-fit-in-a-normal-towel!!! dance, and then almost lost the towel, which was fine because I didn't think it would close anyway so no one was around.

*Again in Tucson, I put on my mom's apron that I made for her from my Katydid apron collection and noticed that it fit much nicer than it used to, and I felt thin and girly and swishy. If swishy isn't something you can imagine, click on the link and look at the apron. Check out the ruffled bottom, and then imagine wearing it. You want to swish, don't you? Even if you are a man. Don't lie. When I had a giant belly and no waist, I loved my aprons on everybody else, but I never thought they looked cute on me. No more! I rock the apron and want to wear it continually as a cute accessory!

*I went to Travel Town with the School of Awesome (which consists of my Aunt Jo, cousin Gillian, nephew Eli and me) yesterday, and when we needed to get to the train ride as quickly as humanly possible because the last train of the day was leaving in four minutes, I picked up the child and ran like the wind! Being able to do stuff like that is so important to me!


*A bathing suit top that I bought years ago because it was cute and inexpensive actually fits me now. I honestly thought it never would! Buying it was wishful thinking.

There are more, but I'll save them for another time. It was a combination of those moments of victory and a little prodding from my friends and people who read this blog that got me into the gym today for the first time in months. One of the big reasons I started writing this blog was for accountability, and thanks to many of you who read it and count on it for motivation and notice when I haven't written in a while and ask me to write, I want to make sure that this blog and my struggles and successes continue to be a good source of motivation for you. I know that it can be so hard to stay motivated sometimes, but it's nice to know that none of us are in this struggle alone! I'm also incredibly happy that I didn't gain a bunch of weight back, which proves that I can maintain my weight pretty effortlessly after losing. I was right to not adopt any crazy unsustainable diets!

So as this new month begins, I am ready to get back on track and continue evicting the fat from my body. My goal for the month is to fit into size 16 jeans, and to weigh 199 or less. How exciting to know that soon I will be able to wear the size clothes I wore when I was a junior in high school. I can't wait to try my green prom dress on at the end of the month!I also have a really cute skirt that fits quite snugly now that I can't wait to wear when I'm down another size. That was another wishful thinking purchase years ago, but I will be able to wear it soon!!

One more thought to end this post: Last month the School of Awesome went to the Getty museum, and we found a sculpture that is the perfect representation of my weight loss journey. I am at the middle stage right now, with the heavy past being shed, and the hope of a lighter future springing out of the top. This is my new mascot. A true picture of "Tomorrow is a Lighter Day!"