Big Things!

For the last few months, my sister has been talking to me about her morning workout group. 

Amanda: "You should join me! You would love it! We could do it together and it would be so good!" 

Me: "What are the dizzity deets?" (To spice up my life recently, I either add a bunch of unnecessary syllables to words or don't use full words. This is the way. Also, I didn't actually say that, but it's consistent with the lingo I use with my sister. Recently I DID say this phrase to my husband: "Hey Babe, can you get the lasagns out of the freeze? Thanks.")

Amanda: "You buy the Beachbody streaming workout and then you get on Zoom with my group every morning at 7am! It would be so good for you and you would seriously love it!"

Me: "HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA"

This will probably not come as a shock to most people that I HATE MORNINGS. I LOVE working from home, because I literally set my alarm for 3 minutes before my first morning meeting, roll out of bed and stumble into my workday. I'm supes class like that. (AKA super classy. I'm just giving some more fun examples of my current strike on full words. Don't worry, I realize it's totes ridic. We all need a little fun in our lives right now.)

Also, I have a gym membership and I have home workouts and I've sort of been doing the dancy Figure 8 workout I bought a few months ago, and it's a disgusting swamp in my house all the time because it's monsoon season in AZ and we have a swamp cooler. I now realize to the full extent why they named it that. I half expect an alligator to crawl up from under the house at any moment.

So Amanda, or PERSISTENT AMANDA as we'll call her in this episode of "How I wore my sister down," would leave it alone for a few weeks and then bring it up again. I continued to laugh at her attempts because above all else, my hatred for the morning runs deep and prevails over most things. I'm not even kidding, when I woke up on my wedding day, I thought, "I mean, do I HAVE to get up? How important is this wedding thing?" Clearly the wedding thing won that day, as I now possess an adorable and quirky husband who can't wait to have kids. And neither can I, but we've had no success in the pregnancy department, and we're coming up on four years of marriage.

So we're seeing a reproductive specialist. Besides the obviousness of just having to lose weight to increase my chances of getting pregnant and carrying healthy babies (we're praying for twins, I only want to be pregnant once. I'm gettin' OLD!), I was FINALLY diagnosed with PCOS after telling my last few doctors that I strongly suspected that I have it and them pretty much brushing it aside. Long story short, PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) makes it difficult to get pregnant because it messes with my hormones and ovulation. The doctor is confident in helping me ovulate, and he also gave me some new diet tips that he thinks will help me lose weight (daily probiotic sauerkraut and lots of seafood among new supplements and other stuff) and I'm suddenly feeling the urge to also work out and get this thing going.

It has been incredibly difficult for me to lose weight for about the past 5 years, even when I've had consistent workout plans and nutrition in place. Tim and I did a 40 day sugar fast recently, and I did not lose a single pound. And I am a stickler for following the rules and not cheating. My body just isn't responding like it used to as I get older. Also with the pandemic closing everything down and shortening hours, even when they did open the gym back up the hours are limited and I can't go in the evenings when I've historically preferred to work out.

So with all of these factors in place, last weekend I'm talking to Persistent Amanda, and she brings up the workout group again. 

Persistent Amanda: "You really should do it. We're starting a new challenge on Monday and it's $100 for an entire year of Beachbody on Demand, so you get access to all the workout programs."

Me: "Ugghhhhh fine."

Persistent Amanda: "Ok, I'm gonna send you a link to sign up right now."

*Ding* (imaginary email noise immediately)

Me: "This is $160."

Persistent Amanda: "I know, but you get a bag of Shakeology, which is usually a lot more, and you get access to the nutrition program, and it's a really really good deal."

Me: "I really can't do more than $100 right now because it's the rent check week, and with the next paycheck I was gonna get (our kitten) Ham's balls chopped off, but then Tim reminded me that his car needs an alignment and mine needs a transmission flush and..."

*Ding* (Venmo app notification) Amanda Spaulding has sent you $60

Persistent Amanda: "Check your Venmo, Dude."

Me: "Well, I guess I'm signing up now."

So against a lot of odds, Monday morning I started the mbf (muscle burns fat) Beachbody program, and it's a lot like cross fit, and it's really good. I was not excited about starting it or the earlyness of the group Zoom workout, and from Tuesday to Thursday my quads were excruciatingly painful, but it's been most of a week now, and I am actually really loving this change! It gets me going in the morning, and it's really nice to just have it done and out of the way, and I'm starting to feel actual desire to work out again. I still dread the waking up part, and I think that will always be the case, but I can push past that and attack these workouts like the old Fitness K8! 

I know that so many of you need the same accountability that I need to consistently work out, and for that reason, yesterday I upgraded my account to become a Beachbody coach, and I'm asking you all to consider joining me! Come join my team and let me encourage you daily, because that has always been the best way for me to stay motivated! There are SO many different types of workouts to choose from, and you don't even have to do the same one I'm doing if you don't want to! But please join me! Let's take back 2020 from the nightmare it's trying to be. There are still four months left in this year, and we can achieve a lot in that time! The endorphins are necessary to get us through this thing!

The MBF program is 21 days, and these are my before photos. My starting weight was 279. Seriously, if I can do this, anyone can!

 

Why is my face so red?

My mom has mentioned a few times lately how we Noah children always got really red faces whenever we exercised as kids and it used to freak her out. Especially when we moved to Tucson when I was 13 and we played soccer here. I don't know why she would freak out though... it's not like we were exerting ourselves in 115 evil degree oven-like temperatures or anything. Oh wait...

So I still get that red face when I work out today, no matter how good or bad of shape I'm in. It has nothing to do with being close to heat stroke and death, so there's no longer any need for my mom to freak out, but it sure isn't attractive. I would love to look glowy and beautiful when I work out, but I'm pretty sure I just look like I'm in labor every time. Super confidence-boosting.

Maybe I shouldn't care anymore. I am married now, after all, and my husband thinks I'm gorgeous us and/or adorable no matter what I do. And that's the best feeling ever, and one that I waited a loooooooong time for. One I thought for years I would never experience, and one that I wish for every woman (and man, for that matter!).

But it's nice to feel confident in how I look, and a red face simply isn't my top choice in glamour.  I took this photo just now. The redness has faded quite a bit, but I got home from the gym TWO HOURS ago!

Oh, but hey... did I mention I went to the gym tonight? So the awesome red face is worth it. Since my last post, I've gained a Monday night gym buddy, and we've gone to a yoga class together three times. I like that instead of saying, "oh yeah! Let's meet at the gym sometimes," we committed to a certain class on a specific night. Having a class to be there for keeps us going more consistently. 

And also, it's disheartening because it's showing me just how out of shape I am. It's good to have that as a starting point though, and I want to remember that feeling, because even in three weeks with only a little effort, I've made progress. I did better in class tonight than I have the previous two weeks, and I'm looking forward to the day that my stomach isn't in the way and I don't fall over during balance poses, and my body can move with more ease.

I feel like I should be doing more to lose weight, but I know that taking my puppy for walks and doing this yoga class are a pretty good start. I have a busy schedule and it's hard to fit in workouts, so I'm starting small, and I'll add things in as I go along. Maybe it's just time to embrace that red face.
 

Ready, set, RESET!

Oh hey! Remember me? I sure remember a me that I want to get back to. Here's a quick recap:

I lost a bunch of weight and documented here for all to be motivated by. It held me accountable. I loved it. I got down to 215 pounds.

In 2013 I started working at a veterinarian office with pretty endless sweets on the weekends. At first I resisted, but it started to get me.

In 2014 I quit trying altogether in favor of grief eating. I gained a ton of weight back.

In 2016 my then-fiance and I were on a reality weight-loss show and I gained a bunch of muscle and lost a lot of fat before our wedding.

The first year of marriage was very stressful and I once again abandoned all progress to deal the way I know I shouldn't but I do anyway: stress-eating.

And I'm back to 271 pounds, and I feel gross and my body moves like an old woman, and I don't like how I look in anything, and I'm just uncomfortable all the time.

Tim has had so much self-control in the last month or so, and he lost 18 pounds in the weeks before we went to South Africa in the beginning of August. He gained 5 back while we were there, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had actually lost a few pounds! I've been having a hard time coming up with any motivation to really put in the effort to lose weight again, but something in seeing no weight gain on a trip I thought had certainly added more pounds gave me that little kick I needed!

Tim and I have been going to bed early (10pm), and this morning I woke up at 6. I *almost* got out of bed and went to the gym, but I decided to be lazy. I don't know why, other than just bad habits and self-sabotage, but I made up for it tonight when we were trying to come up with something to do before bed that wouldn't keep us up until midnight, because we're really trying to stay on this new schedule and start getting enough sleep.

Tim had suggested going to a movie earlier in the day, but I vetoed that idea when I realized we would go to bed after midnight for a movie I didn't even care about. T-Mobile Tuesday was giving us $2 apiece for Baskin Robbins, but I nixed that idea because last time we did that, Tim was mad at himself afterward for eating ice cream and sabotaging himself. So I suggested a walk.

We took 20 minutes to walk around our block, which is 1.09 miles if you include one cul-de-sac, which we did. We are committing to walking together 5 evenings a week, and I'm really looking forward to some consistency. My gym workouts have been few and far between lately.

I'm feeling motivated, but even if the motivation goes away, I am committing to this. To myself. To my husband and our future children. To my life.

After our walk tonight

The Color Run strikes again

Three times I have signed up for the Color Run.  Three times upon signing up for the Color Run, I have sworn that I would be able to run the whole thing.  Three times I have failed.  But I'm not giving up.

Last weekend, Rocio and I braved the early early early early morning and headed to Dodger Stadium, where we fogged (fake jogged... it's totally a real thing) our way through a 3.1 mile course dotted with five stations of colored cornstarch that transformed our white shirts into a mash-up of different hues.

And this time there were hills.

The first two color runs we did were completely flat courses, but not Dodger Stadium.  Straight out of the gate, we were headed uphill, and my already unimpressive endurance was cut down dramatically by the onslaught of a mountain tall enough to intimidate even the hikiest of hikers.  Okay, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration.  Or maybe even entirely false.  Okay, so really it's just a normal hill, not even as steep as my driveway (which is crazy steep, for the record.), but when I get winded walking up hills, you can bet that running sure isn't gonna happen.

And then, once we had gone downhill for a little bit, there were all these switchbacks, making us go back up.  So I just stuck to the fogging on the downhill segments and trudged my way up on the torture uphill portions.  It was a pretty good system.  It got me to the end at least.

Since there had to be hills, I was extra grateful for the clouds that made the sun less brutal.  Our first color run was miserably hot.  I would do hills with cloud cover over a straight course in mid-afternoon under an unrelenting sun any day!

Oh, and I've lost 5 pounds since my last blog post. HALLELUJAH!

I WILL fully run a 5K soon.

Climb every mountain! Or at least "A" Mountain

Life got busy.  I got sidetracked.  And sabotaged.  And my weight loss was basically demolished.

Well, maybe not demolished.  I'm still down 85 pounds from my heaviest weight, but I am 35 pounds up from where I was prior to losing it.  I've gotten back on track and then not stuck to it a few times, but this time I intend to blast through this ridiculous road block and finally lose the rest of the weight I want to lose.  I'm probably looking at another 80 pounds, and I'm ready for it to be gone.

On Sunday I drove to Tucson for a big photography job, doing school photos for a preschool.  When I was packing I made sure to include all of my workout clothes (including a bunch that I just got on sale at Target!  I love finding workout clothes on sale even more than I love finding normal stuff on sale because they're usually so ridiculously expensive!), with the intention of working out while I'm here and eating healthfully.

I don't love working out alone, and I suggested walking to my mom, but she can't do it with her bad knees.  So I thought I was gonna be completely on my own.  However, on Monday my friend Jane invited me to climb "A" Mountain with her.  It's a 1.8 mile hike to the top, and I've been wanting to start hiking anyway, so this was the perfect opportunity, with the added benefit of getting to hang out with one of my good friends that I don't get to see often enough.

At the top, with a great view overlooking Tucson

It's amazing how one kind of workout can become so easy as your body becomes accustomed to it, and then a new kind is really difficult.  The elliptical does nothing for me anymore, but climbing that hill felt a lot harder than I thought it should be and I was a little ashamed of myself.  But then at the top I thought about that time three years ago at Pierce College when I had to climb 185 stairs and I couldn't make it to the top without stopping to rest, and I realized that being able to climb 1.8 miles with only one stop to stretch my quads that were starting to freeze up is not a bad place to be after not being that active for the last year.

The last few days have been sore ones for my legs and butt, but it's a good sore.  I like the physical feeling and what it means for my body.  I love being active and I am going to make it a priority again.  I have to.  If it wasn't pouring rain, I would go for a run right now, even though I would have to go alone.  I might go anyway!  Wait, no.  I forgot that glasses in the rain is super obnoxious.  Maybe I should get contacts again.