I gave in to the Christmas Fats

I made a decision when it came to what I now call "The Christmas Fats". I decided not to deprive myself of candy and desserts, and let myself eat what I wanted. I knew that I would gain weight, but that I would easily re-lose the extra weight after the fact, so I wasn't worried. It was an interesting experiment and I'm glad I did it. Without thinking, I ate less than I had the year before, by quite a bit, but still felt totally disgusting after the fact. I felt heavy and like my intestines were full of lead, which was a horrible feeling, and one I will go to great lengths to avoid in the future.

The Christmas Fats graciously donated twelve pounds to my body, but I am proud to say that all twelve of those pounds are gone again. They were Christmas guests, and they have vacated the premises. I will not be inviting them back next year.

When my cousin Alex, who has always been thin and in great shape, came back from Germany weighing twenty pounds more than she ever had, she made this statement that I thought was funny at the time, but didn't understand: "It's not MY fat!" After the Christmas Fats staked their claim on me, however, I understood Alex's logic for the first time. It wasn't MY fat! It felt weird and unnatural, and I knew it wasn't here to stay. I was just holding it temporarily. And now I'm back down to 100 pounds lighter than my heaviest weight. And I had to buy new pants!! Here they are:



I shopped at the Salvation Army because I knew I wouldn't be wearing these pants for too long. I will be frequenting the thrift shops until I am in the healthiest size I can be, at which point I'll shell out the big bucks for pants. You know, twenty-five whole dollars! I'm a big spender, I know!

Little victories take flight

As a person who was once vastly overweight, I worry about things that most people probably don't think about... like whether I'll fit in an airplane seat without spilling over onto the people next to me. I realize that I'm smaller than I was, but I still worry about that stuff, so on Wednesday when I flew to Omaha to visit my friend Kelli, I was pleasantly surprised when I got into my seat.

Every time I've flown for the past ten years, I have had to pull the seatbelt out all the way and it barely buckled around my giant bulging stomach area. Once I was in, I would tuck in my arms and sit tight, trying not to move so as not to bother the person next to me by entering their space. It was mortifying, and every time I had that experience, I would vow to lose all the extra weight and never feel that way again, but I haven't actually done anything about it until now.

Imagine how great I felt on Wednesday when this was the case:


What an incredible push to keep going!

Either this dress is growing...

Oh, wait. No. I'm shrinking.

At the beginning of December I was pretty upset over a guy. Instead of destroying all my progress and turning to the usual comfort of food, I went to my storage unit and got out THE DRESS. There's something totally therapeutic about wearing a beautiful dress. Especially when, the first time I wore that dress I looked like a giant disgusting lobster, but then I had it altered to wear later that year, and that time I looked like slightly less of a giant disgusting lobster, and now, I have to pull it as tightly as possible in the back and it's still big, and I pretty much just look awesome. I want to wear this dress every day. I'm not even kidding. Obviously not when I go out, but while I'm just hanging out around the house. While I wear it, I'm going to sing some songs from Enchanted and Snow White. I may even open the windows and beckon to the birds. If I had money, I would get it altered again, and again in another fifty pounds.

I love this dress so much! I think it has magical powers. It has always made me feel beautiful, even when I looked like this:



I felt even more beautiful this time:



And when I put it on at the beginning of the month, my biggest fear (being alone for the rest of my life) suddenly dissolved because I looked like this:



And I'm just getting smaller! Pretty soon the dress won't fit me at all! Does anybody need a bridesmaid? I need a new dress...

A HUGE milestone

So it's been a while since I've written, and truthfully, it's been a while since I've been to the gym. The last time I went was on the 12th, after my finals for this semester, but before my final to finish the incomplete I had in a class from last year. It was great to be back that one day, and I am still missing it, but this season is so crazy and it's making it impossible to go. After finals were over, I had less than a week and a half to get ready for Christmas, and I'm still scrambling. And on top of that, I've had a cold and a cough for the past several days. So I've just decided to not worry about it, and return to the gym on Monday: the day after Christmas.

I know some people are worried that I have gotten out of my routine and won't go back, but I can assure you that I will. I've lost enough weight recently to make me dead set on not gaining any back. I feel amazing (other than that stupid cold), and I love watching my body get smaller. People are noticing left and right, and I want that to continue. Plus, I have inspired my mom to join a gym, and if I stop going right when she needs the motivation, she'll give me all kinds of crap! But that's not even a possibility. I can't wait to get back in there and continue to kick my newly shapely butt!

I weighed myself this morning, and I was slightly worried that I had gained a few pounds back since I haven't been at the gym for a few weeks. I haven't been eating poorly, but I was still worried. Apparently, though, the worry was unnecessary, as I have lost even more weight! And although my heaviest weight is just a guess because I refused to weigh myself until I had lost what I believe to be thirty pounds, here's my huge milestone:

I HAVE LOST ONE HUNDRED POUNDS FROM MY ESTIMATED HEAVIEST WEIGHT!!

So how's that for motivation? I almost don't believe it. It's surreal. I still want to lose at least another sixty, but for now my focus is on the next thirty pounds, and I want that gone by my birthday: March 10.

Gym, I will see you on Monday!

Not an excuse

Sometimes there is a legitimate need to take a break from the gym. It's called finals. They happen next week, and until then, I am going to be studying like crazy. I'm still going to Zumba tomorrow night with Liz, and on Friday I will be working out by walking around all day at Disneyland (it's the last day my pass won't be blocked out for Christmas), and Monday and today I did the stairs at school, but other than that, working out is being placed on hold temporarily. Don't freak out in concern, this will DEFINITELY not put me off track. I'm sort of dying right now because of all the energy I need to burn. I want to go work out, but I just don't have time until finals are over. But I'm feeling the need to run.

You know what's awesome? When I started this workout kick, the stairs at school and Zumba were the entire routine, and now when I can only do those things, it doesn't feel like nearly enough! I love the changes in my energy levels, my body, and my lifestyle! Finals are so mean for taking me away from the gym!

Let's talk about my butt

I hope this isn't awkward for anyone... I mean, everybody has one. My family may be a little too free on the subject, which means I grew up with constant B.A.ing and comments about someone else's butt being my face and vice versa, but it's just who we are, and I love us.

My butt has always been very flat. It has also consistently through my lifetime been hard as a rock, as my cousin Alex likes to tell strangers and guys that I think are cute, so that's nice and embarrassing, but it's also true. Even when I got fat, sure my hips got wider, but the flatness of my buttox was a constant.

Until recently.

I think the elliptical machine has magical butt-shaping powers, because lately I've been noticing a new lifted curvy aspect to mine. I've caught myself feeling my new and improved gluteus maximus more than once in public, and I wonder how many people have been a witness to that seemingly odd phenomenon. I don't really care though. I'm too excited about my new derier! <-- I totally don't know how to spell anything in French but you all know what I'm saying there. Don't be a French spelling snob.

On Monday I was on the phone with my best friend Kelli, who lives in Nebraska now, and knows the former shape of my tush all too well. So I told her about the changes, and she wanted to see a picture so she could tell me if I was correct, or if I was delusional. The thing is, I was on my way to school, so it's not like I could find a place with any privacy in which to take this picture. So I told her I'd try. During my first class break of the evening, I went to the bathroom and waited until it was all clear, dropped trou (the underwear stayed on), turned sideways and snapped a shot of the curves in the mirror. Then I re-clothed myself just in time for the door to open. I felt a little like I was walking on the wild side. Maybe that seems too tame to be the wild side, but for me it was. So I sent the wild heiny picture to Kelli for assessment. Sure enough, she also saw the changes! So I sent it to my sister. Then I showed it to my aunt when I got home, sent it to my cousin Meredith later on, my mom's cousin Amy early this morning, and showed it to Alex today! All of those people backed up my claim of a more shapely rear, and left me wondering if THAT many people being familiar with my butt is really a good thing.

I almost want to post the picture here, but I don't approve of inappropriate content on my blog. Besides, I don't want to make anyone jealous. Haha!

Thanksgiving didn't kill me: A post from the gym

I was a little worried about Thanksgiving. All that delicious food taunting me all weekend certainly held the potential to completely derail me and all the progress I've made, and I wasn't taking the threat lightly. I am not willing to let food overpower me any longer.

You should have seen my turkey plate: I was pretty proud of my self control. I didn't leave anything out (besides the green beans, which you couldn't pay me to eat), but took small servings of everything. So small were the servings that I could see plate in between each item. I actually didn't think it would be enough food, but my stomach is considerably smaller than it used to be, and I have to get used to eating a lot less. I keep taking too much food these days because I can't eat as much as I used to! I don't finish the excess either, which is hard for me. But on Thursday, the small amount of food I took was the perfect amount! The rest of the weekend wasn't bad foodwise... I didn't eat as much salad as I would have liked, and I ate more bread than I usually do, but I kept the servings small and included exercise in each day.

Most importantly, a weekend away from my usual routine didn't ruin my mindset. In the past, I have been on track for a time until something throws me off and gets me back into the comfort of the old lifestyle... You know, the lifestyle that makes me miserable. But this time was different. I came home today with a need to go to the gym. I could feel the call of the elliptical echoing in my very soul. And my desire to eat healthfully is off the charts!

It was great seeing friends in Tucson this weekend and being encouraged by the comments on my progress! Next time I visit, there will be even less of me!