Either this dress is growing...

Oh, wait. No. I'm shrinking.

At the beginning of December I was pretty upset over a guy. Instead of destroying all my progress and turning to the usual comfort of food, I went to my storage unit and got out THE DRESS. There's something totally therapeutic about wearing a beautiful dress. Especially when, the first time I wore that dress I looked like a giant disgusting lobster, but then I had it altered to wear later that year, and that time I looked like slightly less of a giant disgusting lobster, and now, I have to pull it as tightly as possible in the back and it's still big, and I pretty much just look awesome. I want to wear this dress every day. I'm not even kidding. Obviously not when I go out, but while I'm just hanging out around the house. While I wear it, I'm going to sing some songs from Enchanted and Snow White. I may even open the windows and beckon to the birds. If I had money, I would get it altered again, and again in another fifty pounds.

I love this dress so much! I think it has magical powers. It has always made me feel beautiful, even when I looked like this:



I felt even more beautiful this time:



And when I put it on at the beginning of the month, my biggest fear (being alone for the rest of my life) suddenly dissolved because I looked like this:



And I'm just getting smaller! Pretty soon the dress won't fit me at all! Does anybody need a bridesmaid? I need a new dress...

A HUGE milestone

So it's been a while since I've written, and truthfully, it's been a while since I've been to the gym. The last time I went was on the 12th, after my finals for this semester, but before my final to finish the incomplete I had in a class from last year. It was great to be back that one day, and I am still missing it, but this season is so crazy and it's making it impossible to go. After finals were over, I had less than a week and a half to get ready for Christmas, and I'm still scrambling. And on top of that, I've had a cold and a cough for the past several days. So I've just decided to not worry about it, and return to the gym on Monday: the day after Christmas.

I know some people are worried that I have gotten out of my routine and won't go back, but I can assure you that I will. I've lost enough weight recently to make me dead set on not gaining any back. I feel amazing (other than that stupid cold), and I love watching my body get smaller. People are noticing left and right, and I want that to continue. Plus, I have inspired my mom to join a gym, and if I stop going right when she needs the motivation, she'll give me all kinds of crap! But that's not even a possibility. I can't wait to get back in there and continue to kick my newly shapely butt!

I weighed myself this morning, and I was slightly worried that I had gained a few pounds back since I haven't been at the gym for a few weeks. I haven't been eating poorly, but I was still worried. Apparently, though, the worry was unnecessary, as I have lost even more weight! And although my heaviest weight is just a guess because I refused to weigh myself until I had lost what I believe to be thirty pounds, here's my huge milestone:

I HAVE LOST ONE HUNDRED POUNDS FROM MY ESTIMATED HEAVIEST WEIGHT!!

So how's that for motivation? I almost don't believe it. It's surreal. I still want to lose at least another sixty, but for now my focus is on the next thirty pounds, and I want that gone by my birthday: March 10.

Gym, I will see you on Monday!

Not an excuse

Sometimes there is a legitimate need to take a break from the gym. It's called finals. They happen next week, and until then, I am going to be studying like crazy. I'm still going to Zumba tomorrow night with Liz, and on Friday I will be working out by walking around all day at Disneyland (it's the last day my pass won't be blocked out for Christmas), and Monday and today I did the stairs at school, but other than that, working out is being placed on hold temporarily. Don't freak out in concern, this will DEFINITELY not put me off track. I'm sort of dying right now because of all the energy I need to burn. I want to go work out, but I just don't have time until finals are over. But I'm feeling the need to run.

You know what's awesome? When I started this workout kick, the stairs at school and Zumba were the entire routine, and now when I can only do those things, it doesn't feel like nearly enough! I love the changes in my energy levels, my body, and my lifestyle! Finals are so mean for taking me away from the gym!

Let's talk about my butt

I hope this isn't awkward for anyone... I mean, everybody has one. My family may be a little too free on the subject, which means I grew up with constant B.A.ing and comments about someone else's butt being my face and vice versa, but it's just who we are, and I love us.

My butt has always been very flat. It has also consistently through my lifetime been hard as a rock, as my cousin Alex likes to tell strangers and guys that I think are cute, so that's nice and embarrassing, but it's also true. Even when I got fat, sure my hips got wider, but the flatness of my buttox was a constant.

Until recently.

I think the elliptical machine has magical butt-shaping powers, because lately I've been noticing a new lifted curvy aspect to mine. I've caught myself feeling my new and improved gluteus maximus more than once in public, and I wonder how many people have been a witness to that seemingly odd phenomenon. I don't really care though. I'm too excited about my new derier! <-- I totally don't know how to spell anything in French but you all know what I'm saying there. Don't be a French spelling snob.

On Monday I was on the phone with my best friend Kelli, who lives in Nebraska now, and knows the former shape of my tush all too well. So I told her about the changes, and she wanted to see a picture so she could tell me if I was correct, or if I was delusional. The thing is, I was on my way to school, so it's not like I could find a place with any privacy in which to take this picture. So I told her I'd try. During my first class break of the evening, I went to the bathroom and waited until it was all clear, dropped trou (the underwear stayed on), turned sideways and snapped a shot of the curves in the mirror. Then I re-clothed myself just in time for the door to open. I felt a little like I was walking on the wild side. Maybe that seems too tame to be the wild side, but for me it was. So I sent the wild heiny picture to Kelli for assessment. Sure enough, she also saw the changes! So I sent it to my sister. Then I showed it to my aunt when I got home, sent it to my cousin Meredith later on, my mom's cousin Amy early this morning, and showed it to Alex today! All of those people backed up my claim of a more shapely rear, and left me wondering if THAT many people being familiar with my butt is really a good thing.

I almost want to post the picture here, but I don't approve of inappropriate content on my blog. Besides, I don't want to make anyone jealous. Haha!

Thanksgiving didn't kill me: A post from the gym

I was a little worried about Thanksgiving. All that delicious food taunting me all weekend certainly held the potential to completely derail me and all the progress I've made, and I wasn't taking the threat lightly. I am not willing to let food overpower me any longer.

You should have seen my turkey plate: I was pretty proud of my self control. I didn't leave anything out (besides the green beans, which you couldn't pay me to eat), but took small servings of everything. So small were the servings that I could see plate in between each item. I actually didn't think it would be enough food, but my stomach is considerably smaller than it used to be, and I have to get used to eating a lot less. I keep taking too much food these days because I can't eat as much as I used to! I don't finish the excess either, which is hard for me. But on Thursday, the small amount of food I took was the perfect amount! The rest of the weekend wasn't bad foodwise... I didn't eat as much salad as I would have liked, and I ate more bread than I usually do, but I kept the servings small and included exercise in each day.

Most importantly, a weekend away from my usual routine didn't ruin my mindset. In the past, I have been on track for a time until something throws me off and gets me back into the comfort of the old lifestyle... You know, the lifestyle that makes me miserable. But this time was different. I came home today with a need to go to the gym. I could feel the call of the elliptical echoing in my very soul. And my desire to eat healthfully is off the charts!

It was great seeing friends in Tucson this weekend and being encouraged by the comments on my progress! Next time I visit, there will be even less of me!

Did I really look like that?

I hate seeing pictures of myself looking like a post-gum Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, but since that is exactly what I looked like for many years, there are a lot of pictures depicting that fact. It honestly makes me cringe, and I'm so embarrassed to have let myself get so far out of control.

Once, in that time of ultimate fatness, I ran into a guy that I had grown up with, but whom I had not seen in many years. It was obvious that he didn't recognize me, and I was too embarrassed to say, "Hey, remember me? Katie Noah. We grew up together." I didn't want him to know I had gotten that fat. It was better that he didn't realize that I was his childhood friend. I was so embarrassed.

I wish I knew when I was younger what I know now. I would have kept playing soccer, and I would have refrained from eating enough food to satisfy a small village on a daily basis. But I can't change the past, so I'll go ahead and let my experiences and struggles be motivation for both myself and others. Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can! I have been getting some really spectacular emails from friends who are inspired to get healthy and lose weight or start exercising because I have been willing to share what I'm going through. I LOVE hearing those stories and knowing that the hardest struggle of my life isn't turning out to be entirely negative. I would almost go so far as to say that I'm glad I went through what I did so that I can help others. But I don't know if I can be thankful for such folly. I am, however, thankful for the things God can turn that folly into.

Because I am being completely honest here, I am going to post pictures from the fattest points of my life, so people can see just how far I've come. It's incredibly embarrassing, and what I really want to do is burn all those pictures, but I think it's important to, a)remember how horrible I felt so that I never let myself get that way again, and b)show what can be done with hard work.


This was me in eighth grade. Normal, right? I thought I was fat.


I was twenty-one here. Always uncomfortable, I hid beneath pillows.


I don't even think it looks like me.


Sooo uncomfortable for sibling pictures.


This was in 2006, at the height of a stressful time.


SO gross at my sister's wedding in 2007. Right after this I started losing weight.


I know I just posted this picture in my blog about collar bones last week, but it's the most recent one where you can see how much weight I've lost.


I wore this dress to my Junior and Senior proms and my goal is to fit nicely into it again. I will achieve that goal!!

I never thought I'd say this: but I love the gym!!

A miracle has occurred: I have actually been enjoying the gym and looking forward to going! I've been using the elliptical machine for the last several days in a row, and I really love it. The first time I tried the elliptical, several years ago, I was sore for a solid week, so I thought that would also be the case this time around. I was wrong, though, proving that I am in better shape now than I was back then. That is an obvious fact, but I never get tired of realizing it. Sometimes I'm just going about my daily activities, and something will be physically easier to do, or I won't be as smooshed when trying to fit into a space that was previously tight, and I will be excited once again at the reminder that this problem that has been such a huge issue for so much of my life is decreasing. Maybe soon it will be gone altogether!

A surprise about the elliptical is how sore my chest muscles are! I know my arms participate while I'm on this machine, but it doesn't seem like holding the handle bars as they swing forward and back would do anything productive. My aching upper body muscles would have me believe otherwise, however. And hey, I'm not gonna complain that I'm working out more of my body without even realizing it. It's not painful while I'm doing it, just after. What's weird, though, is that my thighs aren't sore after, but during the workout they burn with the fire of a thousand suns. Not really. I just wanted to be dramatic there. They do burn, but it's more like a small campfire, or even a trash can fire, if you like a little danger. Which I don't.

Something that helps distract from the fire in my muscles is that I've been using my workout times as an opportunity to pray. It's amazing what prayer can do to take my focus off of my body: while praying, I honestly don't feel the pain. The sweat dripping into my eyes is a different story, but given a choice between sweat and torture, I'd take sweat any day! I go through prayer requests like a champion prayer warrior, so if you've got any, shoot 'em my way and I'll be happy to add you to the list.

Tonight I took some goofy pictures of myself in a state of blood, sweat and tears. Wait, no. Only sweat. And also, a "before the sweat" shot. The contrast is sort of funny. I like how different I can look at different times throughout a day. It's like I'm a whole other person! Word! Anyway, here they are:


Before the sweat.


It's blurry, but it's an action shot, so it works.


I have an amazing gift for making faces. I get it from my mother. She rules.


Can you see my sweat? That's attractive.


How do I have friends?? Honestly.