RUN AWAY!!!

It is looming ahead of me, only 16 days away. I am simultaneously excited and terrified, even though terrified seems like a bit of an overreaction. But it's true. I am terrified. Because two weeks from Sunday, on my birthday, I will be running my first ever 5k race, and I haven't exactly been training like I should. How am I not at this very moment training like a madwoman?? What is wrong with me?

That actually shouldn't be surprising to me, since I'm a procrastinator in general, and also I've been putting off the start of my new fancy running lifestyle for over a year. I finally just signed up for this 5k to make myself do it. And then I got busy with the new semester of school, and training has escaped right out the window! Like a ninja!

I do work an elliptical like a pro, but I know it's not completely the same. I also know that a 5k is only 3 miles, which on one hand doesn't seem like a lot, until I remember that it is THREE MILES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For a person who was never a fan of running ONE mile back in the days of yore when I was aspiring to qualify for the Presidential Physical Fitness Award (I only achieved the National Physical Fitness Award. Darn my weenie arms and those pull-ups!), I just have a sneaky suspicion that I will fall on my face after the first half mile and then someone will have to drag me the rest of the way. While I cry.

You know what would help though? Friends. Friends running the race with me, and supporting me on my very scary 32nd birthday. Sidenote: HOW THE HECK AM I TURNING 32????? HOLY OLD WOMAN!! Un-sidenote. If you are a friend that wants to support me and run with me and participate in the general awesomeness that is me and my life, SIGN UP TOO!!! I will probably deliver a swift smack to your butt in Team Fitness K8 solidarity, which should be enough of an incentive for you. It would be enough of an incentive for me. Actually, that's the whole reason I signed up: so I could smack my own butt in Team Fitness K8 solidarity. I may just like the word solidarity. And the act of butt-smacking. Hint: I do.

I also like the activity I did early this afternoon and the outcome of that activity. My mom gave me a lovely gift of $20 in Kohl's Cash, so I went shopping and found a cute dress. I'm not a big shopper, but in my few past trips to Kohl's, I have noticed that their clothes tend to run small. I held up the Large size dress and immediately doubted my body's ability to fit into it, so I brought both the Large and Extra Large into the fitting room.

The other night on the phone with my friend Jen, we were talking about weight loss and the sizes we are and want to be, and we discussed in great detail how our minds and our perceptions of self are skewed. I still feel like my body is much bigger, and I am constantly surprised when I catch my reflection or see a picture of myself and am reminded that I am much smaller these days. It's the exact opposite of what used to happen when I was more round: I would think I looked good and I would feel thin, but then I would see myself and realize that I was twice the size that I felt. That's so messed up. Minds are weird.

So guess what happened.

I didn't even take the XL dress off the hanger, because I tried the Large on first and it fit. And I wasn't even wearing Spanx. And I loved it.



So yeah, new dress that I only paid $8 of my own money for! So much cuteness for $8 is sort of an amazing deal. Thanks for the Kohl's cash, mom. You may enjoy my choice of a cleavage-free dress!

Just wait until I wear it with heels and actually do my hair and makeup! I'll wear it for my birthday, post torture-run! And maybe if I step up my training, I'll look stellar in 2 weeks. Two weeks is definitely enough to see some inch-loss and toning!

Come run with me!!

Large and in charge

I can't hear the phrase "Large and in charge" without thinking of my grandpa. What a character that man was! In my family, we often quote him, and laugh at the funny way he would say things.

I got to spend the last two years of his life living with him, and in that time I certainly brought him new experiences. I taught him how to "yoink" something if he wanted to steal it from me (mostly licorice), we did "Kateflix" where I would leave DVDs for him to watch on top of his tv which he would then put on the hallway divider when he was ready for more, and I brought the term "large and in charge" to his attention. He could never quite grasp the fact that the term was really just something dumb to say and didn't mean anything on a deeper level. So he would ask, and I would try to explain.

Grandpa: "Large? And... In Charge??? What does that mean?"

Katie: "It doesn't really mean anything. Just like, if something is big and commands attention, you might say that."

Grandpa: "But... IN CHAAAARRRGGGEE???" (long, drawn out emphasis on "charge", like saying it in that way would bring some clarity or something)

Me: "ummm, yeah, it's really just more of a saying than anything. Because it rhymes. It's really just kinda dumb."

Grandpa: "But WHAT does it MEEEAAANNN???"

Me: "Nothing, Grandpa."

See, I wish that my Grandpa was alive today, because I would tell him about the new jacket that is my early Christmas present from my parents, and I would say that it is large and in charge. Inevitably, he would ask, "But what does that MEEEAAANNN???" and I would answer, "it means that this jacket is a size large. And it is in charge of making me incredibly excited!" And then I'd probably add a "Boom!" for good measure, because that's how I roll.



Now to make this jacket too large...

Downsizing

Downsizing one's wardrobe is a complicated matter. Especially when one is aware that one will be in one's current size only temporarily before further downsizing is required, and one does not have massive amounts of money to spend on clothing.

Okay, enough with that ridiculous formality. Winter is here, and I am facing an interesting dilemma. All of my jackets and sweatshirts, with the exception of my very thin pink one that I bought and flaunted in this post: Out with the old, are hilariously big on me. I keep this huge pink snow jacket in my car for emergency coldness, and had to bring it out the other day when my aunt and I were having a garage sale and freezing our butts off. It was a 3X, and really looked quite comical. I should have taken a picture, but I didn't. I think I need to go hunting around at the Salvation Army and the Goodwill for some cute used jacket that I can spend a minimal amount of money on and then do the same thing when I need a new one next winter, until I am the size I want to be, and then I'll splurge and spend money on something I know I'll be able to wear until it's unwearable.

I have, however, been thinking about investing in a good new sweatshirt that will maybe fit me snugly now and then be a decent looseness in the future. I've been eyeballing different sweatshirts here and there, but on Friday at Disneyland, I found the one. I had a coupon for 20% off, and they have a Jack Skellington sweatshirt that I had admired for quite some time, so I was able to save some money on something I love! My friend Andrea (whom I call Andreawesome... because she IS!) has the same sweatshirt, and wore it that day, so when I bought mine that night, we matched. I might be a dork, but I still think it's fun to match with my friends sometimes.



I love my new sweatshirt, but the best part of it is the size. I used to have to buy men's sweatshirts in XXL. Well, this is also a men's sweatshirt, because that was all they had, but the size? A SMALL!!!! I was expecting to fit into the Large, and when that was too big, I tried on the Medium. I was a bit incredulous that even that one had some room in it, so I tried on the small, and then I tried on a different small just to be sure. But it fit! Small was the right size!

I am fully aware that I am not a size small in women's clothing. I am also 100% content with the fact that my body will never be a women's size small. My build is large and muscular, and I am perfectly fine with that. It's not about comparing myself to other women and what sizes their bodies are. I look only at myself: the way I looked in the past, the size I know my own body to be capable of achieving, and the way I feel. I know that I still have a lot to lose, and I will work on losing it until it's gone, but I am happy with my body for now. And every pound I lose makes me feel better, which is the real goal anyway!